6.22.13

As I walked the beach Saturday I began to look for that familiar shape/pattern/print of a sand dollar. The tide was in pretty high so there weren’t many shells at all. I didn’t hear anything from Him – not in an “I’m not speaking to you” kind of way – but more of a “be still” kind of way…so I was still – quiet – with a million thoughts/questions running through my mind.

I walked a ways down and found a few shells I liked…. But didn’t feel as enthusiastic to keep as many.

On my walk back, a little ways up ahead … as a wave was rushing back out into the sea – I could see an area with a lot of shells… but before I could reach it – another wave came in and covered the shells back up. My first thought was “what if a sand dollar was there”…. I didn’t see one – but I saw the potential… I mean it really looked like a good spot to find one. I stood there just waiting… waiting for the wave to go back out so I could be certain it wasn’t there… waiting for the water to clear so I could know for sure. As I stood there… that’s when I heard Him speak to me. I became paralyzed in that spot in fear of if I moved – or walked away I might miss it – what I’ve been looking for… what if? What if I walk away from it and it WAS there? It could be the “spot”… it could be there… the potential of finding it keeps me standing ankle deep – just hoping the water will clear – or that the relentless waves will stop crashing in on me long enough to know…. I realized so much in that moment. The “what ifs” keep me stuck there… and God told me to move – to walk – to go forward… that I don’t have to stand their waiting – He will put in my path what He has for me… to look up – around – take it in – enjoy it all….

In that moment – I did just that.

I looked at my surroundings – my beautiful surroundings – the sun shining – the sky beautiful – that ocean and all that was around me. I smiled and with a quicker pace, my head up – I went back to my spot….

I lost that desire to search in my own strength.

I am not going to lie – there were a few times I would still glance down – hoping to just spot one – hoping that one would just wash up in front of me… but the rest of the day – I just enjoyed the peacefulness of the beach.